Princess Gives it Away

By:  Dab 10

How far would you go to exact revenge?  To what depths would you travel?  Would you stop at absolutely nothing to inflict your own particular brand of vengeance?  Or maybe you would be more likely to turn the other cheek and simply walk away.  Whatever path you decide to take, make no mistake, the concept of revenge has been around for as long as humans have roamed the earth!  Nevertheless, one person’s idea of getting even may be quite different than that of another.  In his short story “Princess Gives it Away“,  author Dab10 shows just how far someone will sink in order to exact retribution.

Princess Gives it Away” is pretty much a story about the American Dream gone wrong…maritally speaking that is.  We have the main character, Frank, who weds someone he believes will be the perfect wife for him.  Things are fine at first but they begin to deteriorate fast.  Through a “canine assisted” stroke of luck, he discovers that his loyal and devoted wife is in fact having an affair behind his back.  The remainder of the story is focussed upon the many twisted methods which Frank and his team deploy in order to ultimately wreak his vengeance.

The theme of revenge is fairly common in literature.  Some would even say it is overdone.  That being said, if a story is to utilize this motif it really needs something special to stand out.  This could include a web of complex story events, dynamic and memorable characters or a smooth flowing writing style which engages the reader from start to finish.  Unfortunately, none of that exists in this story.  The entire piece comes across almost like a rant and there is no real feeling of authenticity or believability.  Further, the characters are quite flat and and easily forgotten.  Throw in a heavy dose of poor editing and we are left with a poorly written story.

It actually pains me to write this review due to its negative nature.  However, the positive point would be that the actual concept could work if it was supported in much more detail.  The story itself is “workable”, but it needs a lot of work.  For instance, even the cover is quite poorly done.  This is usually  the first thing which will draw readers to your work and needs to be powerful and catchy.  All that being said, I would categorize this story as a good potential outline for a much more polished work.

2 out of 5 Dabbling Stars for this one.   **